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How Do You Deal with an Autistic Person Who Starts Acting Out During an Argument?
January 29, 2026
When an autistic person starts acting out during an argument, it’s usually a sign of overwhelm, not defiance. The first step is to pause the conversation and lower the emotional intensity. Keep your voice calm, use simple language, and give them space to regulate. Arguing back or raising your tone can increase sensory overload and make it harder for them to process what’s being said.
Next, focus on understanding the trigger. Was it too much noise, unclear expectations, or feeling misunderstood? Offering choices like “Do you want a break or help explaining how you feel?” can restore a sense of control. Visual support or writing things down may also help when verbal communication feels overwhelming.
Once everyone is calm, revisit the issue using clear, concrete language and problem-solve together. Teaching coping skills, such as deep breathing, requesting a break, or using a calm-down routine, can prevent future escalations.
At Divine Steps ABA, we help families to learn practical strategies to manage emotional outbursts and build healthy communication through ABA therapy in Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina.
Learn how ABA therapy can support your child during challenging moments. Contact us today!
SOURCE:
https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1n2w2ei/how_do_you_guys_handle_your_emotions_when_you_are/
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-an-autistic-person-who-starts-acting-out-during-an-argument
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/anger-management/parents
https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/
https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/deal-with-autism-anger-adults/?srsltid=AfmBOoqNbOu3mh8cXIUZKfFb_izxgNQEqD4BYieuUYNNcuJZRhtl-8b5
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